The Second Seder Experience

The Ariza"l teaches that we have two days of Yom Tov outside of Israel as we need more time to absorb all of the spiritual energy of the holiday. I decided therefore, that while our First Seder had been focused on the story of the performance of the Mitzvos of the night, I wanted our Second Seder to be focused on each person's own personal Exodus from challenges they are facing.

We had begun heading on that direction last year when we focused the second night on the idea of Mitzrayim representing meitzarim boundaries. We gave each participant in our Seder the opportunity to discuss what self-limiting boundaries they are creating in their lives and what they can do to move beyond those boundaries. We moved beyond that this year.
Before I broke the Middle Matzo I mentioned that the middle represents the heart. In order for us to really change, the first step is to break open our heart so that it is fertile ground for change. Initially, all we are left with is a small part of our heart, we have not yet experienced the Exodus. The larger part is hidden away until we earn it back through the work we do at the Seder.
The four questions represent how we experience things in our lives:

1. On all other nights we eat Chometz and Matzo. Chometz represents the ego. How often do we not all ourselves the opportunity to really be full-present and enjoy experiences because we allow our ego to interfere. Who is watching me? What are people going to say. Will I be thanked?
2. On all other night we eat all sorts of vegetables. We allow ourselves to be faced constantly with a whole salad of attention-grabbing distractions in our lives, which rob us of the opportunity to focus upon and really experience any one of them. Tonight it is only Marror. Just one thing on which to focus.
3. On all other night we do not even dip once. Dipping is a luxury, it represents eating in style. How often do we not allows ourselves to pamper ourselves and enjoy what we are doing? Tonight, we will dip twice and really enjoy.
4. How often do we reclining while eating. Reclining in Talmudic times represents a decision to participate fully in a meal. How often do we rush through things, not allow ourselves to experience them fully?

We then took time to allow all participants to share which of these challenges was meaningful to them, and what they needed to be mindful of in order to change things.

We then turned to the Four Sons and understood them to symbolize how people respond to trying circumstances:

1. The Wise Son wants to know what to do. No matter what the challenge he is always ready to respond.
2. The Wicked Son turns around and asks why someone else isn't doing something to solve the problem. With that attitude he never would have gotten out of Egypt.
3. The Simple Son asks, "What's this?" He needs more information so that he can figure out how to respond.
4. The last son is frozen with fear. He needs someone else to help him out to deal with the situation as he is powerless on his own.

Again, we allowed each participant an opportunity to discuss their own experiences, challenges and successes.

Finally, we focused on the three central themes of the Hagaddah and how we relate to God's presence in our lives. 

1. Pesach represents the time when things occur and we seem to have been singled out. For good or for bad.
2. Matzo represents the law on unintended circumstances. They thought they were making bread, they ended up with Matzo with some long-term consequences
3. Marror, the Talmud says that it starts out Bitter and ends up sweet. How many times do we see things only negatively and can't see that they are the seeds of something better in the future.

Once again participants shared their feelings around these themes.

A meaningful time was had by all.